This week’s Fangs God It’s Friday is getting a little goofy, because my “vampire” is none other than running back Frank Gore. No, the NFL isn’t recruiting the undead for their games (not as far as we know, anyway), but when it comes to this particular player, one has to wonder.
For those who don’t follow the NFL that closely, I’ll explain. At the age of 32, Gore has long since passed the age where a running back is supposed to thrive in the NFL. 29 is considered the swan song age for most running backs. I started playing fantasy football in 2009, and I feel like every season since then, I heard fantasy football experts predicting each year would be the one where Gore finally fell apart. Instead, he keeps on going.
This year, ESPN fantasy football expert Matthew Berry sums it up like this:
“When the apocalypse comes — and it’s coming — the only beings that will survive are Frank Gore and people who look exactly like Frank Gore…He’s like a Twinkie…Now in Indy, the vampire that is Gore is primed for his best fantasy season in some time.”
After reading that, I knew one thing for certain. When it came time to draft my fantasy football team, it was going to be my reputation as a writer of vampire hunter fiction on the line. How could I not pick Frank Gore, the vampire running back, to be on my fantasy football team? Well, as fortune has it, I managed to get Gore in my first draft this season. My vampire hunting hero Gidion Keep would approve of the choice, because in total yards from scrimmage, Gore ranked 13th among running backs last year.
Now, I just hope he plays well enough that I don’t have to stake him… uh, I mean, bench him.