Don’t panic at the title of this week’s featured vampire in Fangs God It’s Friday. I’m not making you revisit that awful Adam Sandler film Pixels. No, we’re revisiting a different terrible film, Blade: Trinity.
For those who think I’m talking about Ryan Reynolds, because he’s in the picture, think again. No, shift your eyes to the right. Yes, there you go. We’ll save Reynolds’ version of Hannibal King for another Friday, because we’re talking about the dog.
Among the many sins committed in the third Blade film, the least offense was probably this tiny ball of blood-sucking fur. That’s right. Meet Pac-Man, the Pomeranian vampire-dog. One has to wonder what narcotic David S. Goyer was smoking (maybe he’d just spent too much time in Wesley Snipes’ trailer), but he decided the vampires in this film needed a pet dog that was also a vampire. Fluffy Pac-Man wasn’t the only vampire dog in the film, because the vampires also had some dobermans they’d turned into vampires. To be fair, the idea to make the dog a Pomeranian was Ryan Reynolds’ idea, but Goyer was nuts enough to go along with it.
Now, keep in mind, I’m actually calling this absurd fangster furball the least offensive sin in the film. That right there tells you just how bad this movie was. Cinema Sins would probably need to play the entire movie to highlight all the problems in it. Think I’m being too harsh? Feel free to share your opinion why I’m wrong? Or perhaps you think there were less offensive mistakes; I’d be curious to know which ones you think those are.
Update: So, I accidentally posted this Thursday night while working on it, so you get this one a few hours early. Surprise!